Rendering Evil For Evil - Why It Is NOT a Good Idea

Today's blog post is brought to you via a scripture that has been on my mind this entire week, 1 Peter 3:9.

1 Peter 3:9 states: "Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing"(NIV)

For those of you who may not be religious or spiritual, don't worry, I promise to not "preach" this obvious and straightforward verse.

What will any of us profit or gain by hurting, offending or doing wrong to someone who did the same to us? The answer is simple, NOTHING. Can you recall hearing any of these quotes when you were younger?:

• "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all"
• "Two wrongs don't make a right"

I often wonder what happened to those wise, old sayings. Did we grow up and forget the wisdom our parents/guardians gave us? Why do we continue to hurt one another with our words, actions and THOUGHTS? Did you know your thoughts are more powerful then you may realize? Consider the wise words of Mohandas Gandhi:

Carefully watch your thoughts, for they become your words. Manage and watch your words, for they will become your actions. Consider and judge your actions, for they have become your habits. Acknowledge and watch your habits, for they shall become your values. Understand and embrace your values, for they become your destiny.

Do you now understand the power of the mind?

Our body naturally responds in a negative way to negative things. If you burn yourself, you feel pain. If you cut yourself, you feel pain and bleed. If you gossip to other people about someone you are hurting them rather they know or not. If you intentionally do something to offend, upset or bother someone, you are fully aware of your consequences. Again I ask, why do we do these things? More importantly, the words that come out of your mouth says more about you and your character. What image are you painting in someone else's mind? Are you reflecting who you truly are as a person?

I am not exempt. I am not a saint nor would I classify myself as a redundant sinner. I am somewhere in-between and on any given day, it ranges. I learn from my mistakes and work towards not letting my mistakes determine who I am overall as a human being. I will fall throughout this journey called life, and I will continue to pick myself up, brush off the past and look forward to my future. My goal (along with most Christians) is to sin-less and become more aware of who I am and how that affects other people.

Last week I posted a blog about Unintentional Offenses and I mentioned three steps to follow when you are unintentionally hurt. Today, I want to give you some ABC's to follow to prevent you from rendering evil for evil:

ABCs of Fighting Fair by Dr. David Anderson (thanks DA!) 

A - Ask, don't assume 

B - 3 Bs Test (Will it Bless, Benefit, Build up?) 

C - Choose your battles

D - Don't call names

E - Exchange exclusive language with more accurate words 

(Ie. Exclusive language like "always and never" should be exchanged with more accurate words like "Often and seldom")

F - Fight to win the relationship, not the argument

G - Give in 

When you are wrong, just admit it. Say these three relationship saving phrases: 

1. I am sorry

2. I was wrong

3. Please forgive me?

Before I leave, I'll leave you with two quotes that speak on the power of forgiveness. Feel free to send me an email or comment below letting me know if this blog post was effective for you :)

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." - Martin Luther King Jr.

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." - Lewis B. Smedes

God Bless